Sunday, March 29, 2009

Why should I Vote?

Its Election time in India. Most of the time I wonder whats the bullshit surrounding the elections. I have never ever voted in my lifetime. . . I dont feel I will ever vote in the near future. Some people advocate that we must be a part and parcel of the democracy. My vision of democracy is something much different than what we see now in India. May be I will vote register my protest vote when the election commisssion provides the option for negative voting. All political parties are the same in character. The political parties change forms and colours according to the situations and their utmost ambition is money and power. All the parties in India have come to power at one time or the other and all of them have proved to be corrupt. There is no alternative politics in India. All political parties belong to the same seed and they just change colours and flags. Personally I have political convictions, political affiliations but in the deepest of my heart I long for the birth of a dictator.
I wish all these political parties are banned forever, all the religious organisations, castiest parties, power broking pimps etc are burned into ashes. In the name of democracy, what we witness is just Election-Thamasha.
India has probably had one it’s worst years in the last 25 years, terrorist attacks, sudden slow down in growth, loss of jobs and an uncertain future for many. The 26/11 attacks in Mumbai made me sad, and worry for friends and family. I am very sad, but not surprised, because the policeman is waiting to see where he can make the next 100 rupees to fund his evening drink, a government official is collecting bribe to buy his wife some extra gold, laptop for his son or a family vacation. Do you think the interest of the country is present in the minds of people who have the responsibility to make it a better place. Does this country or society really care for its people ?
If it takes me 7 months to get a passport, do you think there is any kind of intelligence that is available to detect the next attack. For good security, you need judgement, one needs to be good to the genuine, tough with the suspicious and be “smart enough” to differentiate between the two. Judgement is a complex molecule made up of intelligence, experience, exposure and finally good character.
Sub standard equipment that our police has to deal with is not a bad choice but a greedy choice, because the purchase decision maker has to get his cut and the supplier has to make a profit to survive. I was told recently informed by a farmer who grows potatoes, that all the green or inferior produce is all bought by the army to feed young jawans. Is this what they deserve because they protect the country. It is a known fact, that rations bought by the army is all third grade because the managers of army canteens lack knowledge and character. When you are on a budget and corrupt then quality suffers. From experience, I am pretty sure, when our country buys arms, equipment etc., we put the country at risk.
I have finally concluded, what we lack is character. I was told in school that always tell the truth to your teacher, lawyer and doctor. All I can say today is that these three professions today represent the lowest levels of commitment and character. In the coming days I am going to give many examples from society where lack of character, is gradually poisoning our society to levels far below medicority.
I dont wish to waste my precious time in voting these corrupt politicians. I wish we find some other solution rather than this Election-Thamasha.
If voting is my fundamental right, not voting in protest is also my fundamental right. During election time, all Indians are one-day kings. I dont want to be a one day-king.
Laal Salaam, paint the tower red.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Song


My body is on the fires of passion

I am now burning in the fires of love,
Oh yes, in fires of love.
I’ve been thirsting for love,
Oh yes, thirsting for love,
Since early evening today.
Tell the romance to bring
From somewhere the months of rains.
I am now burning in fires of love.

I don’t know when the night will end,
I’ll be burning till morning in fires love.
I’m now writhing in convulsions of love,
Please come and embrace me tight
Holding me against your chest,
Oh yes, holding me against your chest,
Easing the fires behind my breasts.

You’ll see me burning--
I swear it by my smile--
In your arms I’ll die burning.
Place you hand upon my heart
To pacify the pulsations of love.

I’ve been thirsting for love
Since early evening today.
My body is now burning
In fires of love,
Oh, yes in fires of love.
Tell the romance to bring
From somewhere the months of rains.
I am now burning in fires of love.

Do not sing
this song of mine,
I’ll sing this myself
before I die!

This song of mine
is darker than the earth,
it’s as old as the sun.
Since many births
I’ve been carrying
the burden of its words.
No one can sing
this song of mine,
it was born with me
with me it will die.

Do not sing
this song of mine,
I’ll sing this myself
before I die!
This song has strange sounds,
It’s full of unbearable pains,
It has sounds of crying cranes
in the distant mountains in the autumn,
it has the clamor of sparrows
in the forest at vestal dawn,
it has the whirr of passing winds
in the darkness of nights in the grass.

Do not sing
this song of mine,
I’ll sing this myself
before I die!

Both my song and I
when we pass away,
those who live behind
will go finding my grave,
in one voice they will say:
“Very few unfortunate
can bear so much pain.”

Do not sing
this song of mine,
I’ll sing this myself
before I die.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Creativity And Sexuality



Sexuality may well be the most rewarding bliss of all possible experiences that life can offer between two people passionately attracted to each other. The union it produces between men and women in love is so close and so complete that two finite individuals can interrelate almost as if they were one indivisible being. It involves not only physical but also psychological, spiritual, and somehow anthropological and social aspects. It is related to reproduction.

But because it does involve reproduction and transfer of genes, society has always tried to grip it under its control, denying any need of its other aspects. Even, anthropological theories are denied by the social gurus. Society or religion (I am unable to differentiate them) articulates its own definition of sex as all sexual activity ought to be potentially reproductive, that marriage must last forever, and that women must be subject to men.

‘Dharma’ in Hinduism is different from the Western concept of religion. It is a code related to moral nature. There is a very negligible difference between this ‘dharma’ and ‘spiritualism’ whereas in the Western concept, ‘religion’ and ‘spiritualism’ are two different concepts. So society or religion always plays a role to suppress the sexuality and as the patriarchal dominance is more on these fields, questions about the morality and the politics of sex are usually considered in isolation from issues about gender and erotic sex.

Hindu spiritualism sexuality is represented as ‘kama’. It is one of the four necessities, four aims of life: Dharma, Artha (material goods), Kama and Moksha (liberation from the cycle of death and rebirth)

Kama is defined as the enjoyment of appropriate objects by the five senses of hearing, feeling, seeing, tasting and smelling, assisted by the mind together with the soul. The ingredient in this is a peculiar contact between the organ of sense and its object, and the consciousness of pleasure which arises from that contact. This is called Kama.

In Hindu spiritualism, Kama is not at all a ‘prohibited’ subject or we don’t find any ‘male dominancy’ there. Taking the lovers’ longing for reunion as a metaphor for the soul's longing for union with the divine makes sexuality more acceptable in ‘Sufism.’ And in a later period, ‘Hindu Bhaktism’ by Sri Chaitanya also adopted this idea easily.

But in Western philosophy, the natural and the universal are sharply divided -- like heaven and earth. The division of tasks between heaven and earth, suffering on earth and happiness beyond, is part and parcel of Western culture and its philosophy, religion and mythology. Westerners tend to see the sensuous world around us as false or illusory and the world 'beyond' as real. But in Hindu spiritualism, when you are in your sexual desire, you might sense complete presence in your sensuous world, a perfect moment which is spiritual, natural and carnal all at once.

Professor David Lee Miller in his book Philosophy of Creativity (Peter Lang Publishing Inc., New York, 1990) tries to define creativity as the "feeling" of pure experience vital to a realistic grasp of life with the ‘sensuous world’ (Miller named it ‘as-in-the-whole-Earth’). Plato first refused this ‘sensuous world’ and under Plato’s influence, Western thought has been dominated by a model (paradigm) of neglecting this knowledge and of value in experience. But Miller, in his book, tries to establish that creativity is of the whole Earth (or we can say ‘sensuous world’) rather than being limited to particular aspects.

It is the philosophy of sexuality in Hindu spiritualism that made Kalidas and Jaydev write two great masterpieces: Kumar Sambhav (Kalidas, fourth century B.C.) and Gita Govinda (Jaydev, twelfth century A.D.). These works depict lovers in separation and union; in longing and abandonment, and have been portrayed in thousands of exquisite miniature paintings in India.

Kumar Sambhav , is about the begetting of Kartikeya, the god of war who was the son of Siva and Pārvati, and depicts the monogamous form of sexuality. In contrast, the erotic love of Radha and Krishna in Gita Govinda is not limited to the love of only two persons, but is extended to the 1,600 women known as ‘gopis.’ Unlike in Kumar Sambhav, the love of Radha and Krishna was not at all a monogamous example as Radha never was the wife of Krishna and the ‘gopis’ were also well-connected with the god ‘Lord Krishna’ in sexual desire and lovemaking.

We can say the love of Krishna was polyamorous and was more an evocation and elaboration of passionate love or an attempt to capture the exciting, fleeting moments of the senses. It could also be an evocation of the baffling ways in which love's pleasures and pains were felt before retrospective recollection, trying to regain a lost control over emotional life. This is why this love story grips our imagination every time we encounter the animated expressions, flashing eyes, and sinuous movements of a dancer, who as Radha, expresses her anger at Krishna's infidelities or who as Krishna, begs forgiveness for his irresponsible dalliance.

Gita Govinda was first of its kind to be included in the ritual service of the temple of Lord Jagannath at Puri, one of the four most sacred pilgrimage place of Hinduism. So, as the concept of Brahmacharya (suppression of sexual desire) exists, so also exists the concept of spiritual sexism in every authentic entity in this Eastern religion.
But the fundamentalists always try to prohibit sex though no doubt, we are the product of sexuality and our mind characterizes what it experiences, which has a great influence on how our mind perceives the creative process. This creative process, as an inherent sexuality, is always enhanced when we are in sexual desire or find ourselves in the grip of sexuality.

The writing process is a sexual process. When a writer wants to expose a physical life or an energetic life, a creative tension and a flow of energy is generated in the creative process. This creative tension can be experienced as a sexual tension and the flow of energy creates life or describes a new life.

Religion or society never cares for any artistic sensibility as Plato’s domination and so this inherent sexual influence over creativity has also always been denied by our sexual gurus. So, we find there are descriptions of fetishism, voyeurism, exhibitionism in the writings after the Second World War. We also find our writers/artists/musicians always have an inclination towards their sexual orientation and sexual behaviour and we encounter how much sexual desire they have.

We find Christina Rossetti, George Eliot, Mary Wollstonecraft, Willa Cather, Emily Dickinson, Sarah Orne Jewett, A. E. Housman, T. S. Eliot, Federico García Lorca, Charlotte Mew, Viscountess Rhondda, Cicely Hamilton, Elizabeth Robins,Virginia Woolf and Simone de Beauvoire were either homosexual or bisexual. In contrast, very few of Indian writers have had the courage to admit such truth but Amrita Pritam, Maitreyi Pushpa, Kamala Das, Harivanshrai Vachchan, and Rajendra Yadav are among them.

Still, Asian and African writers have not shown any admissible indication to point out their sexual inheritance in their writings, though their culture is more open to nature than Western cultures. This is a peculiar situation of contradiction and one which we cannot pass up.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Jai Ho - The Oscar Comedy...

Its Oscar time in Kerala. AR.Rahman, Gulzar and Rasul Pookutty have become the slum dogs of Oscar academy. Some media celebrated this as the Malayali achievement. Mr. AR Rahman claims himself as a Tamilian but the media in Kerala loves to portrait him as a Malayali. Rasul Pookutty is being celebrated everywhere in Kerala. The government is felicitating him for his achievement. Newspapers and television show him 24 hours a day as if this bearded fellow is a some kind of Hero.
I don't know whether Rupert Murdoch is watching all these . How many media persons in India know that the Oscar Academy is sponsored by Twentieth Century Fox, Metro Goldwin Mayer, and Universal studios. The Oscar for the slum dog, the dullest work of AR Rahman, could have been to boost the revenue collections of the film. Its a marketing gimmick of hollywood film mafias.
We foolish Indians and Indian media never ever realise the truth.
Rupert Murdoch and his company has produced this film " Slum Dog Millionaire". Murdoch knows how to woo the viewers and boost the revenue collection. Mr.Murdoch produces the film and awards his film with Oscar through the academy controlled by him.
Being a neighbour of Rahman for the past 10 years, I pity him. He has many great works to his credit but Slum Dog is not a feather in his cap.
Those media people who talk big against Mr. Murdoch seems to join the celebration of Slum Dog... Its just a comedy show.
The slum kid actors would be back in the slums; its middle class elite actors and some of the crew members who managed to extract their pound of the publicity flesh would be back to the regular grind of hooking new directors, producers and financers. And given the way things happen, we’d be bidding them goodbye for a long time till they decide to dump girlfriends/boyfriends or decide to tie the knot. All news clippings and telecast clips related to Slumdog Millionaire shall be neatly tucked away in some closet as part of one’s portfolio. Thank god, it’s over. The Slumdog hype was no less than the `invest in stock markets b’coz that’s the new god’ hype that afflicted humanity till eight months ago.
Now we in India shall restart our search for some sort of Indian connection in everything and everyone who is successful (and manages to get a few square centimetres in print or a few minutes on TV). Some of us are scoffing at the Brits who are calling Slumdog a British film. We claim it as an Indian film becuase it was shot in Mumbai and had used some Indian people, both, off screen & on-screen. But then, isn’t failure an orphan and success more like a `bastard’, with so many fathers claiming the baby. By that yardstick many of our bollywood films shall qualify to be French, Swiss, Canadian or American films since they are shot in these countries and use local artists, technicians and crew! Worry not. None of these countries are going to lay claim to our films as theirs. Not in the near future at least as they do not suffer from the kind of low self esteem or lack of identity the way we Indians do.
You just have to scan the media carefully and you’d regularly come across some sort of Indian linkage being discovered in every nobel, pulitzer, booker prize winner, every scientist, entrepreneur, corporate honcho and nerd who achieves something. Yes, I agree that so far we have not claimed Dick Cheney as having a Chennai connection and thank heavens for that.
I have a list of WHYs for which I would like to have the answers. Just see if you can chip in as a fellow Indian.
>Why are we like this?
> Why do we have to revere only those things that have `western’ approval??
>Why do Indians manage to succeed only when they kick their motherland to embrace Amrika and Ingland???
> Why does a Ravi Shankar or Zakir Hussain have to wait till he wins a Grammy for us to buy their CDs and listen to them?
> Why does an Arundhati Roy or Arvind Adiga has to wait for a western literary award to be read here?
> Why wasn’t Vikas Swarup’s Q&A a sought after piece of literature before Slumdog ariived on the scene?
> Why do the disabled and marginalised Indians have to wait for some foreigner filmmaker (Smile Pinky & Born in Brothels) to document our own reality and make us think?
> Why do we tend to listen to Amartya Sen only after he wins a Nobel and not heed to his thoughts and views earlier?
> Why can’t we raise the standards of our own film, literary, academic, sports & artistic awards and create a benchmark for the rest of the world to follow? Afterall, India happens to have some of the best brains in the world…isn’t it!
> Why must we discourage and break the spirit of every Indian who wants to move forward in his own country and discreetly force him to seek solace outside our national borders? And having done that, why must we shamelessly try & reclaim him/her once (s)he has made it in life??
I can go on & on about it and so can you but have you ever thought what kind of a rising `superpower’ we are which needs stamps of approval and recognition from white skinned western communities all the time. Would we have been equally proud of Slumdog Millionaire had it won all the awards (the same ones that it has won at Oscars) at an award function hosted by Ethiopian, Middle Eastern, South American or even Japanese film bodies. Simply not! Because right from birth we have been conditioned as someone with `inferior’ qualities compared to those inhabiting Europe, North America & Australia. We have been subtly conditioned not to believe in ourselves and always look for third party approvals to know ourselves. Perhaps it is our education system which was designed by the colonial masters to produce clerks and nothing else. And how many clerks you know have original ideas, thought processes and can function without third party approvals? That’s a tough one, I guess. But the worst part is that we’re still continuing with the very same education system. While we may keep fooling ourselves with all this talk of being the next USA (read superpower), the fact remains that we can not and shall never be a superpower with the kind of self respect we have as a nation.
Let me articulate it this way- WE, IN INDIA DO NOT RESPECT & RECOGNISE TALENT, WE RECOGNISE RECOGNITION FROM THOSE WE REGRET NOT BEING!!
Bahut Na-insaafi hai…Time to say Goodbye till we find our next slumdog moment of pride.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

My Darkest Heart is Corrupted


Today when I returned back to blog...there is this friend of mine from Chennai, online, asking me whether I know this person "xxx". He protrudes into my privacy like a peeping Tom. He questions as if he is an innocent to get into the darkest and deepest portions of my heart. Having changed his name so fashionable, to attract girls, he finds wisdom in advising me and poaching into my own empire "My Heart".

I am just back after bribing the Holy Lady- the chief Optholmologist at teh Government hospital of this city. An eye operation for someone at home... I am just unable to digest this. In all my life I have never ever bribed anyone or begged anyone for unlawful things. Yet, for the first time in my life I had to pay money- pay bribe... One patient told me" You should have gone to Dr.Thomas, or Dr.Beena- they never receive money or other favours".
Yet, I did the stupid thing...bribed the doctor to do things that the doctor has to do for free as she is paid by the government. I did it just ti please the patient. I can control my mind but I cannot control others. Relationships makes me compromise my moral sides. I am vexed with compromising.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

The Call Of My Soul...

It has been more than a year since I have blogged. So many things have happened in my life and around me. Good as well as bad. Relationships gone dead and new relationships sprung from nowhere. Hope and warmth out of those relationships keep me breathing. There have been times I wished to cease my breath voluntarily. Why should I breath? I find no reason to breath. Am I waiting for some discovery that no one has ever known or forgotten. When I am surrounded by wounded morality, animalistic dictators fooling my fellow beings, few men living luxuriously at the cost of poverty of millions... I wish the cessation of my breath.
I have sat idle for a longtime, quite a longtime. Something in me dictates me to do something to kill the idleness. Go away from here or at least do something for your own sake, I am being dictated... I will be back with all those things I do, all things I see, everything I feel... with no fear or shame...

Put me to rest , this night,
lend me your loving shoulder,
before i cease my breath,
and the night gets any older;

let the midnight flowers blossom,
before it is time to say goodbye,
make me smile my loved one,
before you get ready to cry;

what man approves the dark hour,
but those who have known love,
they face their heads on the ground,
and talk to the stars above;

i have seen my reflection in the ripples,
my tears set them ablaze,
the words you sing to me tonight,
confessions through an angelic gaze;

give me a reason to smile, before dawn
on this night the stars twinkle and shimmer,
in your eyes i have seen all seasons tonight,
fall , winter , spring and summer;

forgive my passion on this lonely night,
so many nights I've spent to now bid adieu,
the leaves of autumn will fall next year as well,
and the calendars will again show a future new;

put me to rest , my love and past,
are behind , my dreaded dawn nears,
as i bury myself in the graveyard of dreams,
as i drown in the ocean of my tears;